Heart Of Gold: An Akatuski Story
by 6Troublemakers
Summary: Amaya is a member of the akatsuki, the only problem is, that she doesn't want to be. While in the Akatsuki, horrible things happened to her, but she still maintained her heart of gold. Old story, written about 3 years ago. So shut up about it.
1. Chapter 1: I Don't Belong Here

My name is Amaya. I'm not that pretty and I don't have a miserable past. I know in most stories you picture a beautiful girl that all the guys break their necks to look at. But not me. I don't have a miserable past at all. I have kept both of my parents and I'm happy with my family, we're all so close. I have a little brother named Daichi too. My mom is possibly my best friend and my dad is my great protector. I couldn't ask for anymore in this life.

But somehow I ended up in the Akatsuki. You know, the one with all of those S-rank criminals. I can't help but wake up and go to sleep thinking about what would my mother say if she knew I was in this group.

I ended up in this group because I stole something from them. It was secret scrolls. It was either join or be killed and I knew that my family would be heartbroken if I was killed.

Most girls think "Oh HECK YES being one of two girls in a group with a bunch of single and hot men!" Um no. Not for me. I just wish I could go back home. The Akatsuki are planning to destroy my village, Konaha. I was afraid for my parents and my brother. I now cry myself to sleep thinking about how the Akatsuki will kill all of my friends and family and that I know about it and I can't do anything.

So enough with the prologue stuff. Here's the true story.

I just woke up and I stretched. The Akatsuki lair wasn't so bad, but it wasn't perfect either. It was just… What's the word? Plain. I took a shower to start off my day and I put my auburn hair into a lose bun. I had no desire to do my hair and look my best today. I was just going to be a side on a mission anyways.

I put on black skinny jeans with pink skull converse and I put on a black tank top. _Perfect_. I thought. I then left my room. No one was awake but me. It was seven o'clock people should be up! But of course, all these criminals do is party and drink themselves stupid every night. Even thought I live with criminals I don't drink just yet. I'm only seventeen and a half, I don't need to ruin my life by getting drunk. God knows what would happen to me then. Especially with being around sex-starved criminals.

I skipped down the hall to the kitchen. I decided that I'd make breakfast for everyone today. I hated living here but that didn't mean that I still couldn't be nice and courteous to my new roommates. I decided to make homemade pancakes after a while; I made sure we had all of the ingredients. I was excited to have a little taste of home, my mother used to make these pancakes.

We had all of them, they were just scattered everywhere. There were dirty plates and bugs crawling everywhere. I double checked the expiration date on everything, no need to food poison my new roommates. That wouldn't settle well with them, and that's not the way to impress these guys—and one girl.

I doubled the recipe because I knew that my cooking was good and that the Akatsuki might want a big breakfast to start off their day. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! But most of the members here just eat cereal (which is stale by the way) and wash it all down with some sake. The perfect way to get over a hangover. I'd like to see everyone sober for once.

I finished breakfast soon and I set the dirty, grimy table and waited for them to wake up. I soon got bored and checked the time. 9:30. Where is everyone? I was annoyed with them so I did what my mother always told me to do when I felt like I was going to snap. I decided to go take another bath. Yes, I bathe a lot but it's what relieves stress.

It was 10:30 when I got out of the tub and dressed again. I went to the kitchen to find all of the criminals feasting on my pancakes. I just stayed quietly near the doorway and smiled. _They really enjoy my food_, I thought. "Good morning!" I said joyfully as I took a seat next to Hidan who was chowing down on my food. I silently reached over to take a pancake, I had this smile plastered to my face. No one knew that I made them this, I was almost hurt but I knew I had to remain humble. All that matters is that they enjoy it and that they aren't getting wasted on sake again.

I cleaned up by myself after breakfast; those criminals sure can eat fast! And they're messy too! I just cleaned and cleaned until everything was done; it was almost lunch time by the time I finished.

"Amaya!" I heard leader-sama call my name. I finished drying the last plate and I quickly rushed to where I heard his voice from. The Akatsuki were having a meeting and everyone looked at me when I came rushing in. I bowed respectfully to the leader and apologized for my tardiness. Leader-sama just shrugged it off and told me not to be so lazy. Lazy? I was the one who made that lovely breakfast and I even cleaned it up! But I held my anger in and bowed again and apologized (yet again) I knew he could take away my life in a heartbeat. I heard chuckles from the members. Was I being to respectful? I grew self conscious and tugged at my clothes making sure I didn't have anything on me.

"Amaya, Sasori, Deidara, you are to go and capture the Kazekage of the sand village." Leader-sama ordered. Deidara just smirked at me, Sasori said nothing. I nodded my head. Maybe this would be a good opportunity to get some more ingredients. But first, on my day off I'll need to clean the kitchen…

"You leave today." Leader-sama ordered. I quickly nodded and racked my brain for all the things I needed to bring. My Kekke-Genkai? I can steal people's chakra and use it as my own. I don't think it's essential to Akatsuki in anyway however.

When the meeting was over I was left in the room with Sasori and Deidara. They both looked at me. "Well get packing." Deidara told me. I nodded and ran off to my room. I could feel Sasori's disapproving look burning into my back. I certainly didn't fit in here… At ALL.

To be continued….


	2. Chapter 2: This Life Isn't For Me

I didn't know what to pack. So I settled on a bunch of knives and my dad's special poison. I couldn't believe I'd be part of murdering the Kazekage. My friend Gaara! But duty is duty… I'll never be able to be as heartless and cruel and these people.

After I finished packing I grabbed my Akatsuki robe and put it over my black spaghetti strap shirt and black skinny jeans with pink skull converse. I didn't bother zipping up this ugly coat.

I rushed into the living room where Deidara and Sasori were waiting for me "I'm ready!" I yelled bending down to catch my breath. They both looked at me weird and turned to leave. "I'll ride on my sculpture; Sasori will walk and so will you, un." Deidara informed me and with that he made the clay bird and got on it. Sasori looked a little angry to be with me. I felt utterly useless.

We soon made it to Suna. Deidara landed and met up with us. Sasori informed us on the plan and I just nodded. We were let into the village by one of the Akatsuki's accomplices. I felt nervous, anxious and guilty. Nervous because if I messed up, I'd be killed, anxious because this is a ninja infested village and guilty because we could possibly kill my old friend Gaara. But like I said, duty is duty.

My job was to attack the few jonin's guarding the Kazekage's office silently. That's what I'm good at so I should be okay right? Wrong. When I threw a kunai at a jonin's shoulder and pinned him to the wall others started to notice. I silently said sorry as I took the jonin pinned to the wall's head. The other jonin that came to help threw a kunai at my stomach. I tried to dodge it but it ended up hitting my shoulder.

I quickly punched the jonin in the face using the chakra that I sucked out of him. I hit him so hard in the skull that I heard a sickening crack. I was sure he was dead. I waited and listened for other jonins to come but none came. I let out a sigh of relief and continued searching for other jonins.

I felt dirty and guilty for taking two people's lives. What about their wives? Their mothers? What if they had kids? Oh God, no! What if they had kids? Those kids would grow up fatherless! Or what if their wife were pregnant? Oh God! I just ruined their lives! Their wife could be starving because her only source of income is gone! I just ruined their lives! I felt like crying. S-rank criminal stuff isn't for me!

My thoughts were interrupted by a loud bang. It had to be Deidara. I peered up, yep; low and behold there was Deidara on his giant stupid bird. _NO!_ I scolded myself, _It makes him happy and he's good at it, it's NOT stupid _I told myself. Sometimes I think mean thoughts and I have to scold myself for them. No one should be treated badly.

I noticed other jonin and I threw needles at their vein in their neck. They dropped dead, because of the poison and also I hit a vital vein. I let a tear slip; I'll never be able to do what they do so easily. It just isn't right to take a life.

I saw Gaara up there with Deidara fighting. I was torn between cheering for my team mate and cheering for my old friend. I just wish I could just talk to Gaara one more time… I should've thought about the consequences before agreeing to steal the scroll form the Akatsuki.

I saw Deidara leaving I took it as my cue to leave. I threw more needles at the jonin that got in my way. I made sure to make them immobile and not kill them. I hope I succeeded. I ran as fast as I could, like my life depended on it, out of there.

I was stopped at the gates by Konkuro; I prayed that he wouldn't notice me. I don't want him to see me like this. I jumped in a zig-zag pattern from wall to wall to try to avoid Konkuro. _So far so good…_

Until I turned around to see if he was following me. Big mistake, I saw the shock in his eyes, he stopped in his tracks and watched me go. _He noticed my eyes_, I thought _He's going to hate me forever. I hurt him… _I could feel the tears clouding my vision. I kept following Deidara with Gaara while Konkuro fought Sasori.

It was hard to follow Deidara, he was going faster than I ever could run, even with my great speed. The rest of the mission was a blur…

I woke up the next morning ready to start my day. I put my hair up in my usually sloppy bun and I put on some skinny jeans with a striped spaghetti strap top and my red converse. I began to make breakfast, I made eggs. As I set them down on the table Hidan came in, his hair wasn't slicked back at this moment, he looked kind of cute.

"So you're the bitch that's been making breakfast." Hidan stated eyeing me cooking, I just nodded. "I need to clean up this place." I said looking up from my work and smiling. Hidan smirked back and walked up to the stove. I could feel his breath of my neck. He scooted me away and he took over the cooking. "Oh, I can get that." I said not wanting to bother Hidan's morning.

Hidan just waved me off. "You're too fucking slow." Hidan smirked. I felt my heart sink… "And… you could use a break." Hidan said through clenched teeth. I felt like it almost pained him to be nice to me. I just nodded. "I'll make the sausage then." I smiled joyfully. Hidan didn't answer or give any sign that he was listening.

I started to cut up the sausage and put it into a pan. "I'll need to go grocery shopping soon… Do you know that nearest town?" I asked Hidan. Hidan just shook his head. "I'll go with you if you want…" Hidan mumbled. I was in shock, Hidan wanting to spend time with the worthless newbie? I felt flattered. I couldn't help but notice that my cheeks were getting hotter, and it wasn't the heat from the kitchen…

To be continued!


	3. Chapter 3: Super Market Fling

That afternoon Hidan and I made our trek to the closest village to get groceries. I made a list of what I needed. Hidan was just there to help me carry all of the groceries. I planned to clean out the rank kitchen later.

We made small talk on the way to the village. He always turned his attention away from me. I was starting to wonder if he thought I was beautiful, or maybe he was just so disgusted by my ugliness that he couldn't look at me.

We it to the village, both of us in disguise and we directed ourselves to the super market. I had my long auburn hair down and I was wearing a black dress. It wasn't much of a disguise but people around here don't know me and they certainly don't know that I'm now a forced member of the Akatsuki.

Hidan's disguise was better. He had his hair messy and in his face with a headband covering his right eye and he wore the traditional jonin outfit. He pulled it off pretty well and it made my mind wonder to what he looked like before he became an S-rank criminal.

I shopped around the market with Hidan following me. I knew what I needed and he didn't know what was even in the kitchen!

After a long day of shopping we made our way to the gates. I didn't get many groceries; god knows how long I'll be sticking around anyways! Hidan wasn't very talkative, which made me really nervous.

I knew jus the way to break the ice however. "Let's go to the park! I hear it's really pretty there." I said joyfully and giddy. Hidan just looked at me, so I grabbed his hand and led him to the park. There was a fountain at the center, we sat on a bench.

"Look at it!" I sighed in awe. It was dark so the fountain was lit up. "Yes…" Hidan's voice trailed off and he stared intently into my eyes. I stared back and he drew closer and closer to me until I just closed the gap with our lips.

Hidan kissed back but then quickly pulled away. I looked at him with a sorrowful look. Hidan just got up and said "We have to get back…" and I just nodded and followed. What was that about?

When we finally made it back it was late. No one was awake except for us. Hidan helped me put away the groceries and walked me to my room. "Thanks for coming today." I smiled at him. He grunted a you're welcome and turned to me. He kissed me yet again.

I wrapped my arms around his neck deepening the kiss. His tongue prodded at the bottom on my lip begging for entrance and I let him. We both fought for dominance but he eventually won. Hidan started walking us to his room, I didn't know how he could walk and kiss at the same time but he managed.

When we got to his room he pushed me onto the bed. We kept kissing while articles of clothing flew off. First my shirt, then his shirt, then my bra then his pants and so forth. We were both nude sooner or later and things picked up from there. I regret now not stopping when I should've.

I ended up waking up in Hidan's bed that morning. I was disgusted with myself and I quickly got out of there after putting back on all of my clothes _What would my mother say?_ I thought running back to my room. I quietly shut the door and blushed. I had just made a fool out of myself… And possibly a slut.

I turned on the water for a shower and I stayed in the water until it grew cold. I never felt so dirty. Maybe we didn't do anything? _You're a whore_, I told myself, _Now everyone's going to think you're easy_. I sighed. _Let's just hope no one finds out_, a part of me argued. _I think I love him…_ another part said. And I started to believe this part.

I got out of the bathroom and put on some clothes. I put on a comfortable pair of skinny jeans with a polka-dotted shirt. I looked in the mirror and sighed_. Time to make breakfast_, I sulked.

As I was putting my hair up I heard a knock at the door. "Come in!" I called and I headed for the door to twist the handle and open it. It was Hidan, I felt my heart stop beating. He was just so perfect in everyway, I immediately remembered last night and looked at my feet sheepishly.

"Hi…" I blushed. "Listen," Hidan began. "You don't mean a thing to me. You were just a fling. Jashin wouldn't want me to be near you and I don't want me near you. Jashin would want me to have a prettier girl than you." And with that he left. He just slammed the door on my face and with that slam I felt my fragile heart shatter. Good to know I was used! He seemed unfazed by the situation… I felt so broken and confused. I never knew what if felt like to be used until now…

I brought my hand up to my mouth and started to cry. I hugged myself and cried even harder, it just wasn't fair. But it is just my luck. I needed my friends and family more than anything right now.

I especially needed my mother…

TO be continued!


	4. Chapter 4: Moments Between Sleep

This is based off of Thriving Ivory's "Flowers For A Ghost"

_You disappear with all your good intentions_

I lie in bed thinking of Hidan and last night. _How could I be so stupid?_ I scolded myself. I haven't gotten out of bed for about four days. I'm beginning to smell but that's okay. I don't want to get up.

_And all I am is all I could not mention_

I bit my lip as his words echoed through my head,

_You don't mean a thing to me_. He had said.

_You were just a fling_. I could feel my heart begin to stop.

_Jashin wouldn't want me to be near you and I don't want me near you_. God, I think I'm going to die!

_Jashin would want me to have a prettier girl than you_. Hear that sound? It's the sound of my heart breaking. I could feel my heart practically stop, I felt my breathing stop too. _Just a fling_. I told myself over and over again. He meant so much to me, but I meant so little to him.

_Like who will bring me flowers when it's over_

I wonder what my mother would tell me in a situation like this…

_And who will give me comfort when it's cold_

She'd tell me that I'm stupid to be used then immediately comfort me. I could use her kind words right now. But I left her when I was forced to join the Akatsuki. I left my whole entire family for this god dammed organization. _I left my _whole entire_ family for heartbreak_, part of me said.

_He took a plane to somewhere out in space_

I wonder where he is now… I wonder if all the other members know already… No one has bothered me for days. Maybe they just don't care. I wonder if he ever thinks of _me_.

_To start a life and maybe change the world_

I wonder who he's killed so far… I wonder if he's found someone new.

_See I never meant for you to have to crawl_

Did he mean what he said?

_No I never meant to let you go at all_

I just wanted him to stay with me. _All I wanted was _you, a voice echoed through my head.

_Don't ever say goodbye_

I frequently think about how it could've ended up different between us… I could've been more than a one night stand if I looked better and I was more appealing.

_See my head aches from all this thinkin'_

I think so hard some days that it just gives me a migraine. It wasn't the matter; it was the principle of the matter. But for him I was "_just another fling_".

_Wonder what you do and where it is you stay_

Are the other members carrying on their missions? I wonder if I'm supposed to go on some… Do people know where I am? Or do they just assume that when I'm out and about they don't see me. _I'm in my room. Waiting to die. Just if you were wondering_, I thought.

_I'm only human _

I feel strength inside me come. I start to get up.

_I'm only human _

I swing my legs over my bed and begin to walk for the first time in four days.

_I'm only human_

I walk my butt over to the shower and take one. I really did need a shower.

After I get out I feel a great sadness. This sadness swallows me whole and I double over just so that my heart will stay with me.

After a while of sitting their wet and naked crying I stand up and get changed. I look at myself in the mirror. Running eyeliner and bloodshot eyes. I could stand to sleep for a few days. I strip my sheets off of my bed and plop myself on my bed.

I curl up in fetal position and think to myself. I start to trace circles on my mattress with my finger. It helps me think.

I hear a knock at the door and my heart beats happily. _Maybe it's him_, part of me says. I mumble a weak, squeaky come in. I haven't used my voice in days, it feels weird using it now.

"Hello" I hear a male voice say and I shoot up from my bed.

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 5: I'm Not So Weak

"Hello." I heard a male voice say. I shot up in bed.

It was Deidara.

"Hi…" I replied shocked that he'd come to find me, especially since he'd been so cold to me lately. "You want to take a walk?" Deidara asked smirking. What could he be planning? Oh well, at most it could be a prank and it probably wouldn't bother me. If anyone can take a joke, it's me.

Deidara raised an expectant eyebrow at me. I quickly nodded and told him to wait outside while I found something suitable to wear. I chose to wear a polka dotted short sleeve shirt with black skinny jeans and black flats. Not exactly the ideal hiking outfit but that's okay. At this moment nothing bothered me. I quickly put up my hair in a sloppy bun like I always do and I caked on the eyeliner.

I was done in about five minutes and I went outside. Deidara just looked at me and I smiled. _Yes I know I'm not attractive but I try_, I thought as I grabbed his wrist and led us out. He seemed to be in a daze as I led him out of the lair.

As soon as we got out of the lair I dropped his wrist and we walked side by side in silence. I remembered things from when I was little; like that I've only had two boyfriends in my life.

My first boyfriend was Haru, I dumped him because I didn't like him, he could never be honest or straight foreword with me. I regretted dumping him, especially when he went out with all my best friends. I did some things to my wrist that I regretted after that incident…

Deidara looked at me snapping me from my memory. I just gave him a polite smile. We kept walking up the hill. _Where's he taking me_? I thought. That thought brought me back to another memory… About my second boyfriend Kyo.

I remember I fell head over heels for Kyo. He was charming, romantic and funny. Until he left me for Chieko. I was heartbroken, I felt so angry and used and betrayed, after it didn't work out between them he came crawling back to me. He told me he never loved Chieko and that he only wanted me. So I took him back and he cheated on me with two other girls. He said that making out with a girl at a party didn't qualify as cheating, but when I asked about his "Friend with benefits" he said nothing. What a liar.

I'd sworn off boys until Hidan, now I'm back to swearing them off again. I'd rather die alone than die with a man.

"What are you thin king about?" Deidara asked studying my face. I snapped to reality. I blushed, "Just remembering some past boyfriends…" I replied covering my hand with my mouth. Deidara just nodded.

"So… who do you like?" I asked Deidara trying to start a conversation. Deidara gave me a sly side look. "I think I like someone, but they're not the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, which makes it hard." I just nodded knowing very well that he meant me.

"Is it me?" I asked weakly looking at the ground. Everyone here was so brutally honest, in a way it was nice but in another way it just killed me. Deidara slowly nodded and I simply said oh.

Deidara led me to a clearing in the forest. "Why did you bring me here?" I asked looking around on the verge of tears after Deidara just insulted me. "does this look familiar?" he asked looking down on me. I took another good look around and nodded.

"Leader-sama found you here a when you were little…" Deidara informed me I just nodded racking my brain trying to remember. "I don't remember Deidara…" my voice trailed off.

"That's because he erased your memory." Deidara informed me giving me a stare that screamed "I'm analyzing you". I doubled over and clutched my head, why couldn't I remember? I felt Deidara rubbing my back awkwardly. I just dubbed it that he hasn't given sympathy in a long time.

I started to draw circles in the ground with my finger trying to think. "I-I think I might remember…" I whispered. "Is that why they accepted a useless person like me into the Akatsuki?" I asked Deidara standing up. He just nodded quickly not saying a word.

Suddenly ANBU ninjas burst out from all sides. I felt frightened and a little embarrassed that they saw the situation. There was an explosion and gas engulfed us, I knew better than to breath this stuff and I immediately put my hands to my nose until it cleared, but Deidara and was little late on that. He swallowed a mouthful and he started coughing. I quickly patted his back trying to help him. He soon stopped coughing and he took in the situation.

Deidara and I went back to back looking at the circle of ninjas around us. "Damn," he cursed under his breath. "I didn't bring any clay." He whispered through clenched teeth. _That's right_, I thought, _Deidara needs clay to make things explode_.

"Then we'll rely on close combat." I whispered back, I had zero faith in my abilities to fight these guys off, but I had to try for the sake of Deidara and my own.

I threw a kunai at one of them, he grabbed it and threw it back at _me. I think I just provoked them…_ I thought. I closed my eyes and concentrated on taking as much chakra from these guys as possible.

I felt a breeze go past me and I opened my eyes, it was a kunai. It was time to fight these guys and then bale once they were weak enough. I kept focusing and taking away more and more chakra. _Hopefully, I can make them weaker_.

I ran up to one of them and hurled my leg at him, he grabbed my leg and threw a punch at me, which I grabbed his wrist and I snapped it like it was nothing. _Thank God I can steal chakra._

The ninja screamed out in pain and I kicked his shin, which gave out. I turned around to check on Deidara, he was doing fine. Actually he was doing better than fine, he was doing _great_. He was taking on about four of them at the same time.

I decided to help the guy out so I threw a kunai and at one of them, his shoulder was pinned to the tree and I kneed him in the gut, I heard the sickening crunch of ribs and I saw blood spew from his mouth. I was immediately disgusted but then I realized that I had to help.

More ANBU came and Deidara was getting hurt bad by all of these guys. I wished I could help but I was being thrown around by someone about a foot and a half taller than me.

The man who I was going against hit me in the gut then grabbed my wrists and then hit me again. He released my wrists and I went flying, he was good, _real_ good. But of course, I wasn't the greatest either.

My back hit a tree and I felt blood escape from my mouth. I was too weak to get up; I managed to get onto my elbows, but with great struggle. I looked over at Deidara who was unconscious. I felt something inside me snap and I felt this strength I have never felt before.

I raced towards the guy who was about a foot and a half taller than me and I kicked him in the face then I bolted behind him and hit him hard in the back with my foot, he went flying and crashed into a tree. He didn't get up after that.

I raced over to another ninja and I hit them with all my might, I felt their skull crack from the force of my fist. Then I swung my leg in a half circle and hit another in the face, they plummeted to the ground which cracked. _I never knew I could take this much chakra._ I thought. This was a first for me; I wasn't using my chakra but theirs'.

I then swiftly grabbed the collar of another ninja and punch them in the jaw, their jaw made a weird movement and I was sure it broke. I dropped the ninja and grabbed another one attempting to retreat.

I clutched the retreating ninja's collar and shoved a kunai through their heart with brute force. Never did I once think about how awful it was to take so many lives. After I finished with this ninja I raced over to Deidara.

He was getting up in a jerky fashion. I slid on my knees and I put a hand on his back. He was coughing up blood, I immediately panicked. "Deidara… let's get you back!" I declared, conviction was burning through my voice. Deidara nodded and I helped him stand.

He looked around, and then looked at me. "I guess I'm not so weak." I smiled, trying to make him feel better. Deidara started coughing uncontrollably again, he coughed so hard and so loud. I silently prayed that he wouldn't cough up a burnt lung; I don't know what I'd do then.

Sure enough when Deidara removed his hands from his mouth there was a black lump. My eyes widened and I felt myself stop breathing for a moment. "That's your lung…" I whispered Deidara looked at me horrified.

I quickly put him on my back and I ran him to the base, my chakra was still high from all of it that I took in from those ANBU, they were like a chakra buffet.

When we reached the lair I let out a loud scream, knowing that everyone would rush. "What is it?" Itachi asked, he was the first to find me. I pointed to Deidara who was on all fours coughing and hacking. "Get Kakuzu!" Itachi barked. He patted Deidara's back and he told me to help get him to the medical center. I nodded and went straight to helping.

"Kakuzu!" Itachi repeated. Kakuzu wasn't coming, but everyone else was scrambling.

_Where are you?_

TO BE CONTINUED!


	6. Chapter 6: This Is The End

I sat outside waiting for the new on him. Tobi started dancing around like an idiot and go off about his Deidara-sempaii. I was in the mood for his good mood and spazz attitude but in a way it was calming. I didn't know why I cared so much. Deidara did call me ugly and said in liked me in the same breath…

I saw Kakuzu come out. I immediately stood up. "How is he?" I asked in a rush. "Good, he wants to see you." Kakuzu motioned to the door, I nodded and I went into the room, I ran to his side and held his hand.

"Are you okay?" I asked him worry was clear on my face. He nodded, he seemed in a trance, he was just staring off in space. "What's wrong?" I asked. He turned to face me, he didn't say anything his lips just crashed onto mine, I wrapped my arms around his neck.

That began our relationship. I knew I wasn't pretty, he told me that every so often but that's okay, I figured this was as good as life was going to get for me. I always thought I was a good person, I just always got the short end of the stick. "Bad things happen to good people" applies here.

Turns out my little one-night-stand with Hidan ended up making a permanent mark. I was pregnant. Deidara knew it wasn't his but that didn't stop him for taking me as his wife.

We both never loved each other, he never said "I love you" to me once and neither did I. We hardly ever talked and we had nothing in common.

The day came when Hidan came knocking on my door, after the Akatsuki organizations had fallen apart. He said he really did love me and that he wanted his son and us to live a happy life under the watchful eye of Jashin. I had to turn him down, I was married and I wasn't about to leave the man who helped me through the rough times. And with the sour taste in his mouth of rejection Hidan left, I never saw or heard from him again.

Later on the future Deidara was killed. I was devastated but mostly for my son. My son grew up fatherless and sadistic, just like his true father. And when my time came I died peacefully in my sleep. I was possibly the only member of the Akatsuki to go to heaven, I never saw any of the others there.

Looking back on my life, I realize I could've changed it. I could've chosen death over joining and I could've prevented myself from being used by Hidan. But Hidan also gave me my son whom I love.

My life didn't turn out the best but I made the best out of it. I love my son and that's all that matters.

And so concludes my story, thanks for listening.

Love,

Amaya.

THE END!


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